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Present day Tiffany Amber Thiessen is a sobering reminder of time’s cruelty.

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Quit kissing Weird Al’s ass.

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Never contact your ex to tell her you had a fuck dream about them the night before. Wait a couple of days and ease into that conversation.

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Some mother fucker on Google+ thought “awesome” was actually two words – all some – so I’m headed over there to piss on his bushes. Might kill his cat too.

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